Durian Adventures

During my travels around the world I have had the pleasure and privilege of running into THE KING OF FRUITS DURIAN.

What is Durian you ask?!?   Why is it that most americans have not met this self pro-claimed KING OF FRUITS?!????

Well...

Durian is a bit how do you say....FUNKY.

Lets be clear about what I mean by funky so we can get the funky bit behind us and move on to the friggin delicious bits of it.

Durian smells pretty gnarly.  I mean really gnarly.   In order to describe the smell of Durian one must first admit it isn't a smell but rather a stench.   A rancid rancid stench.   So allow me to describe the stench through a little imagery.  

Picture a bum.   I mean a stinky bum who has been wearing the same filthy clothes for like 20 years and they havent been washed.   That bum has been wearing the same shoes for all 20 years and if you think he stinks you should smell his shoes.  

Well what if that bum then ate his shoes and number 2'd them out and then died of the steaming loaf that was once he smelly shoes

If you can image the stench that would come from that then you can imagine what the stench of Durian is like.

Now you might be thinking to yourself "Come on he cant really be serious here.  I mean nothing nature made would smell that bad" BUT let me tell you I am NOT exaggerating one bit.  Plain and simple Durian is one smelly stinky fruit thats stench is quite frankly offensive.  The smell is so bad they actually have signs in areas of Asia where they specifically warn people that Durian is prohibited in the public area due to its rancid stench.  Check it:

The first time I tried to try Durian I failed because of how bad the stench was.   I was in Tokyo when I first tried it.   I saw it in a store and I knew it was going to have an epic stink when it was in a refrigerator in a cabinet so it was double locked up.  They took out some pre cut Durian which was in a closed plastic container.   They then wrapped it up really tight in a bag and stuck that bag in a bag and then stuck that in a bag which they tie shut.   

I took a snif of the bag to see if I could smell the Durian through the bag and it didn't smell at all.  Well..at least for the first five minutes.  Then the stench started to break through.  As I walked through the streets of Tokyo people started looking at me and staring.  The stench started to attack the world and within 20 minutes I began to get embarrassed at the fact that I was a walking stench factory.  About one hour later I began to feel like I was Bluto from Labyrinth and the bag was the bog of eternal stench.   BLUTO SMELL BAD and I ended up tossing the bag into a garbage pile and running for the hills.  I could not stomach the stench.

The 2nd time I attempted to try Durian I was in Singapore at a dinner with my team from work.   This time I let the kitchen hold the stench and keep the Durian.  It was served on a plate and I made I sure I tried it quickly.   I grabbed my nose close and picked up the Durian with my chopsticks and throw it in my face.   Suddenly the King became clear.  It was velvety, silk, sweet, and delicious.  I opened my nose once the Durian hit my palette and let the stench hit me.  The death smell went away and this sweetness came through.  Durian ended up being delicious!

I mean durian is like the love child of Mango, Papaya and Avocado.  It's flavor is so amazing.   It's texture is so silky smooth.  It truly is the KING OF FRUIT.  From the trumpets that play when it arrives to announce Durians arrival (the stench) to the most royal of flavors and exquisite of textures.   

Now what reminded me about Durian today that got me to talk about it?!????

I found Durian Ice Cream in Brooklyn.  Will tell ya all about it later in another of Durian posts!